I'm Feeling Outshined...

So I had the idea to start a blog a few weeks back when a friend of mine at work showed me her blog. I thought, what a great way to vent and share my feelings! Plus, I have always wanted to be a writer... not many people know that. I even thought I would try to write a book once, but it was so hard for me to come up with an idea (considering my level of comfort in the creativity department is zero) and even if I did, I am so darn detailed the reader would probably lose interest after a few pages.

OMG she is still describing what the house looks like and it's been 15 pages already!

So a blog (in my mind) is the perfect creative outlet for me! It's just short enough so that I don't bore people (I hope!) but in it's entirety of posts it is a collected works all about little ol' me!

So now the hard part - being creative and thinking of a title.

Of course, my first inkling was to go to Google and search "blog name ideas". Well nothing really seemed to speak to me, plus they all were already taken! So then I thought, think Jen, what is unique about you? --- Nothing --- Sure there is! Keep thinking and something will come to you! So I thought and thought and tossed around a couple of ideas with my sister Erica who is my sounding board. I even had one "decided on" but I wasn't really happy with it and didn't want to settle for something less than great. Then this morning I was listening to the online radio station AOL Radio - 90s Alternative and a Soundgarden song came on and I thought hey, they have that one song that says "looking California but feeling Minnesota"! I should see what that song is about and maybe use it to spin a blog title from it!

Guess what I did next? Googled "feeling minnesota". It took me to Wikipedia where I was reminded that not only was it a lyric in the song "Outshined" by Soundgarden but also is a 1996 American romantic comedy film, starring Keanu Reeves, Vincent D'Onofrio, Cameron Diaz, Tuesday Weld and Courtney Love. haha

So again I go back to my trusty Google and googled "outshined lyrics meaning" and I was taken to a couple of different websites where various individuals talked about the meaning behind the song and their interpretations of it. I think my favorite was from Noah in New York, NY who wrote "The song is clearly about Beverly Hills 90210. It is told from the perspective of Brandon Walsh, in the first season, who has moved to Beverly Hills with his family from Minnesota. He feels intimidated and 'outshined' by his glamorous new friends. Even though he quickly adapts to the fashionable Beverly Hills style, when he looks in the mirror, he's 'looking California but feeling Minnesota.' There are many other Soundgarden songs about 90210. I have proof. Somewhere." LMAO

According to a few different sources this is the actual origin of the song: "In an interview, Chris Cornell said that the base of the song came directly from Andrew Wood (Chris' former roommate and lead singer of Mother Love Bone who died of a heroin overdose on March 19, 1990). He said that Andrew always 'Outshined' him when he was alive. He explained that he felt that Wood was above him as a vocalist and a lyricist. Simply put. Chris also said that the line "Looking California, Feeling Minnesota" ended up being one of his favorite Soundgarden lines that he wrote."

Fun Fact: Unless you were a teenager in the 90s you have never heard of Mother Love Bone is but I bet you've heard of a little band named Pearl Jam that some of the former MLB members formed after Andrew Wood passed away.

Lately I have been feeling a little "outshined" myself. My evil sister-in-law Heidi has been a source of discord pretty much her entire life and despite our attempts to avoid it, everything came to a head on Christmas Day. Not going to go into that now but let's just say that with Heidi it's "all about her". Always has been and probably always will be. So yeah, feeling a little insignificant these days. Had difficulty enjoying Christmas, the weather in Minnesota sucks right now, I miss my family and kinda wish I was back in California. I'm looking California (putting on a shiny happy face on the outside) but feeling Minnesota (kinda sad and dreary on the inside).

So thanks blog followers, for listening to my ramblings and I hope to entertain you in my future posts with wit and sarcasm about my crazy husband and even crazier mother-in-law and the other unique facets of my life of a California girl living as a Minnesota transplant.